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Love and (Gay) Marriage
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Re: Love and (Gay) Marriage
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Re: will
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Feb 13 04 1:58 PM
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Sweets, what are you talking about?!? Even your example doesn't hold mustard to what you are trying to say.
I am with Bard...hmm we seem to be agreeing on a lot of non-comic stuff here.
With the proper documentation, gay couples can have the same rights that married couples can have as far as medical issues are concerned. In fact, it doesn't even need to be that. You can pick the guy on the corner to make yoru medical decisons, as long as you have followed and filled out the correct documentation. And I know this doing research on it for a relative. I know of a gay couple who share health insurance, a business, inheritance, and anything esle...becasue they got it in writing. The only way you can contest a will is if you can prove that the person was not in their right mind (or somehow forced).
If you are arguing about anything, I suppose you are arguing about the rights of being casual, because that is what we are talking about. A wife can breeze in and casually go see her husband, without showing any proof save her photo ID. She doesn't have to whip out a marriage certificate. A gay person doesn't have that yet. But a gay partner can certainly whip out a health care directive, or a Power of Attroney document (as Bard said) and the family, nor the hospital can do anything but admit them and heed their decisions. If they don't do it, that is not them being non-idealistic, that is them breaking the law! And that is wrong, very wrong, but a different fight, and different from what you were saying.
A fionce is nothing but a glorified girlfriend or boyfriend, so of course the rights would go to the family. These laws are not here to punish, but are here to help, and in lieu of any formal documentation. That is why when 9/11 happened, a lot of fionces were just kind of out of luck financially, because they were not married yet. Marriage sort of lets you do these things by default, but its not exclusive to it.
Ok, so you are brain dead, that is why you get with an attorney (or fill out a form when you are broke) and you say that if something should befall me, then all rights and priveleges in deciding my health dealings will go to 'blank' and fill out the fionce's name.These things must be done ahead of time...and truthfully these things have been advocated for heterosexual couples to do as well.
Backing up some.....
I would disagree with you on this Bard, you say why does the government have the right to give preferential treatment? Wellthe government has been giving preferential treatment forever! It's not just about this. The governmnet gives tax breaks to both people with children, as well as people with houses (as opposed to apartment). There really is no cardinal rule for saying that someone who is a house owner should intrinsically get a tax break? The government has always benefitted bhaviors they thought were good for the nation. ANd that is the arguement that I have heard for ebenfitting marriages...that it is good for the family. There have been various studies that show that people who are married live longer, are healthier (and therefore not a financial drain on the health care system), etc.
And many people who are not for gay marriages cite a growing list of new studies that say that the best enviroment to raise children in, the one that seems to produce the healthiest children, are children growing up in two parent homes consiting of the biological mother and father. I know we are have annecdotes of healthy people who caem from traumatic upbringings, and unhealthy people that spawned from nuclear homes. But the more they create, the more more this trend seems to show up.
I do agree with Lisa and Star that there is a difference between a gold digger and just wanting someone to be financially stable. Wow that topic alone can be a whole 'nother thread really. I think the issues with money are nuanced. It could be something as drastic as a huge finacial drain, like losing yoru job. But it could also be that it is a stress, just like any other stress..and when you add it onto certain relationships, unless they are very strong they crack. Kind of like less money, means more hours at work, means less time for your spouse..so eventually you grow apart for example (I think that is what Li was alluding to).
PLus, just as we are only really a few decades removed from segregation, cross burning etc., we are even closer to the feminist movement and true equal rights for women. There are a lot of women who were still influenced by our societal cues. Really the only place we can begin to look at is gen y and after. I still remember even as we were being told we could do anything, we shold still maryy, yadda yadda, and I'm gen X. BMWs?
That was funny! LOL! Whatever the dymanic between euram men and women is even more pronounced, or complicated with afam men & women. I would add to Li, that when you have such disparities in income they lead to other problems...more cultural ones. But that woudl really be a tangent!
The big deal seems to be in the name. It seems many lawmakers are willing to give gays virtually all rights that hetero couples have...they just don't want it called marriage. I know this was ignored earlier,
, but I reall do think in some ways this is a religious arguement under the surface. The government did not create marriage...it just decided to give benefits to it because it thought it benefitted the union. Marriage seems to be intrinsically a religious thing...at least here, where the majority of people at least nominally say they are Christian. I have heard the arguement that the government could get out of marriage entirely - strip whatever benefits there are from married couples, ceae to license, so no justice of the peace, and that way people can get married to whoever wherever, because there would be no added benefit except the love and devotion of spending your life with that person.
I keep hearing about the connection between gay marriages and miscegenation. Hmm, I may look up the old laws, or the history of it, just to see what their exact reasonings were behind it.
On a lighter note, I am with FR Lild! Being a bridesmaid is definitely not all that!!!
I have three dresses, three pairs of shoes, and a pair of elbow lenth gloves that I can absolutely nothing with!
And I can't even make pillows! lol! I could never go on trading spaces.
But I guess I can't complain...being a bridesamid got me to where you were Lild...and oh what a fun time I had!
thanks for the read
dini
"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow. I came along, I wrote a song for you, and all the things you do, and it was called Yellow." - Coldplay
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