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xXStraight Edge HardcoreXx
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Re: xXStraight Edge HardcoreXx
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SantoPejo
Re: xXStraight Edge HardcoreXx
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Jun 14 06 12:07 AM
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I was never, ever a person to be considered a part of this group. I smoked cigarettes, pot, got drunk, had kinky and somewhat anonymous sex, and all sorts of other things that were faaaar from being any form of "poison free" or "straight edge" or anything; things I would rather not mention out loud.
But then I got a little older and looked back on my life and realized I couldn't remember a lot of it. So, one by one, each little thing I stopped doing. First it was the drugs I didn't mention by name, since they were the least often act and the easiest to give up. Next came the whorey sex stuff. It wasn't filling the void in my life. Sure, it felt good for the hours while it lasted, but afterwards, there I was as empty as ever. Next came the pot. It just wasn't as fun as it used to be and it was starting to give me headaches.
Alcohol is something I only rarely use now, and always in moderation. I know what alcoholism can do, and I don't want to be that person. But I also understand the value of moderation, so I don't know if it is something I will ever completely give up. I value my sanity, and sometimes, the only way to maintain it is to take a brief respite.
Cigarettes are the hardest of all, cause they were and are the most addicitve to me. My body craves nicotine. I have really cut back on smoking, tho. I think I do it more now out of habit than anything else. But, as you well know, I'm quitting. It's just difficult to kick addictions like that. But I have a good support system set up now, don't I?
Will I ever fall into the category of straight edge? Not very likely, but I am determined to cut out as much of these things as I can, and I have to say, I've done extremely well so far. I have many more reasons to live these days, and a lot less to hurry my trip to the grave.
Sometimes it can be really difficult around people who do these things on a regular basis. I want to say to hell with it and give in to it all, but I don't. Drinking in moderation and occasionally smoking (most often when I am drinking) is my worst of the worst. But compared to before, you do have to admit I've cleaned it up quite a bit. Here's to more cleaning!
He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.
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