Hello Portsian,
Your story is similar to mine, I loved Jean grey right from the start, long before she became Phoenix, as you said there was something different about her, then when she became Phoenix I absolutely loved the new design, the wild hair, and the power, becoming the strongest of the x-men, going toes to toes with firelord ect....and when she died, god I never though I will get that hurt by a fictional character! but as you said it was a very powerful story and I accepted it....
I stopped Marvel because I am really angry at the way they treated us Jean's fan....the smug way they will not admit that they were teasing Jean all those year to get money from us...
I guess I could read AVX , and I am sure I could enjoy part of it...but I decided to stop, because with every new chapter of that story Jean is made more and more irrelevant, and the Phoenix which was once Jean birth right is more and more becoming the !!*! of the village...I cannot see Jean and the phoenix together anymore....
I agree that it's no point to ask more questions about Jean to TB, the guy is completely against her and I think he does take pleasure destroying her heritage and belittle her fans...if you read his blog he managed to reduce Jean to a background character, which only had a spark of interest during the DPS...and the rest was just wild interpretations from her crazy fans... Just compare with how he answered questions about Emma and you will see where his preference lies.....

www.deviantart.com/deviation/51360088/